A welcome rejection.

As weird and ironic as it may seem, I am actually praying for a visa denial. Well, not really for me to be denied, but wishes for the denial as a “sign” that it is not yet time for me to go to Australia. I had been so confused these past days. I’m excited yet hesitant at the same time. I know it will be a fun adventure but I feel sad because I am leaving my family and friends behind. But really, it all boils down to a confusion in the “will”. Is it just me and my own justified intentions? Are there other plans to fathom? Why am I doubting?

Hence, the “sign”. I know full well that I shouldn’t ask for these things already, after years and years of formation. But heck, it will definitely make decision-making easier. Actually it won’t be called decision-making anymore, it’s settling-because-you-don’t-have-a-choice. Ugh. I hate it. Such cowardice.